I have been relying too much on drugs to keep me functioning...i.e. awake and able to focus. Legal drugs, but still it's not the best. I hope, maybe after this semester, and after grad school apps are in, that my anxiety level will go down a lot and I can feel more normal, and stop abusing my body like I've been doing. Right now I don't see any other choices if I am to finish this semester well and get everything done that I need to.

Locke has to go, sadly. I am not happy about it, and I'm basically just repressing all the horrible guilt of not being able to take care of him. But 3 furkids and just me, with everything else I need to do, is far too much. Especially if one keeps peeing on everything I own. I am hitting a tipping point, and I think one more straw is going to cause a serious burnout. I have to release some pressure on myself...and as adorable as the kitty is, I'm overwhelmed. He's Michael's cat and Michael can't take him, and he just needs a home with a person who doesn't have a dog and another cat and 4000 other things to do. So we are trying to find a good home for him.

I had some brilliant ideas for Christmas presents last night as I was laying in bed very much not sleeping...so I'm heading to Michael's today to try to find what I need. I'm hoping I have the time to get them finished by christmas. If not, I guess they will become birthday presents for next year!

Still looking for work...I hope that I get the editing job or the reviewing one. Neither pays terribly well, but will be low-stress because I like it and can do it from home and everything. Also applying for retail jobs...but probably a zillion people are as well, so I don't know what my chances are there. If I can't find anything, December is not going to be too pleasant...not at all. I'll figure out something, I hope! Especially since I have to pay for application fees. But I don't care, my credit card bills will go unpaid if necessary to pay for those. Priorities, you know?

I have to get started on this globalization paper today. It makes me want to shoot myself in the head, but I'm going to have to get started on it. Poor. My anthro research has languished because of other tests and papers. End of November is going to be nervous-breakdown time, basically!! But it will all get done, and hopefully without any ulcers developing...